Chloe Green's new shoe collection makes me despair

Once, we thought high-street collections 'designed' by celebrities were naff. Now a CEO's daughter is getting in on the act

Chloe Green is to launch her first shoe collection. Photograph: Richard Young/Rex Features

So far the fashions this year have been pretty good! Ladylike pastels, heels getting lower, It bags going the way of harem trousers. Is the fashion world becoming sensible?
Melanie, London

Ah, Melanie. Come here, you sweetly optimistic if naive young thing. Come here and let me shatter your innocent peace of mind, like a Cassandra figure in a horror movie who points out to the heroine that, actually, the psychopathic killer hasn't been destroyed at all but is actually standing right behind her, scythe raised and ready to fall. For I must whisper three words in your ears: Chloe Green Shoes. Oh dear God!

Chloe Green, for those who have not had the pleasure of making the acquaintance of this precocious young lady in the tabloids or on reality TV shows, is the daughter of Philip Green, overlord of swaths of this country's high streets and best mate of Gwyneth Paltrow, Leo DiCaprio and Kate Moss, all of whom would still adore "Uncle Phil" even if he weren't the ninth richest man in Great Britain. It's his famously appealing personality they enjoy, you know, not his private jet.

I must take caution when writing about this charming chap, as he has form in making his displeasure very known to this newspaper when something appears in it that is not a press release about how great he is. I myself have felt the sharp edge of his displeasure when I was sent summarily out of his office by the man himself with the words "antisemitic newspaper" ringing in my ears. Not even my protestation that both my editor and myself are, in fact, chosen people, assuaged his ire.

Anyway, Sir Phil is not our subject today (thank the Old Testament God) – 'tis his daughter Chloe. Raised on the mean streets of Monaco and with nothing to keep her entertained other than Daddy's £7m plane and £20m yacht.

Like many before her, Chloe dabbled in reality TV so that people could, as she said, "see the real me". Truly, there is no better way to prove how down-to-earth one is than showing off one's tongue piercing on Made in Chelsea.

In a turn of events absolutely no one could have predicted, Chloe is now branching out into shoe design, presumably having opted against DJing and lingerie manufacturing, the usual pastimes of the young, moneyed and untrained. To be fair to Chloe, with regard to training, she professes to own more than 70 pairs of Christian Louboutin shoes, which is, really, the same as a PhD in cordwainery from the London College of Fashion. As yet, only one photo of Chloe's wares has been released and it is, I can reveal, an open-toed silver ankle boot, and is about 8in high, so the perfect shoe if you're a young ex-reality TV star who only needs to walk from chauffeured car to private jet. It also has green soles, which I'm assuming is some reference to her middle name "Jade" and is absolutely not a rip-off of the red-soled schtick perfected by Louboutin. According to the last reports, Chloe had six in-house buyers and designers and an unspecified budget from her dad, the CEO of Topshop, to help get this venture off the ground.

"She hopes," one newspaper reported without a hint of sarcasm, "to sell the line at Topshop." Chloe, darling, I don't think you need to lose any sleep over that concern.

Now, I have no problem with wealthy children of celebrities working. Heck, better them doing that than being Peaches Geldof. Until the day she dies, Stella McCartney will have to endure accusations that her success is due to the proceeds of Abbey Road and her father's front-row presence. In fact, McCartney is a very good designer and the fact that she chose a career that has nothing to do with her parents is precisely what separates her from, say, the Sean Lennons of this world.

Maybe Chloe will turn out to be the next Manolo Blahnik. For her sake, I hope so. But when someone is apparently unaware that their heavy reliance on their parents' connections and money in order to achieve their career ambitions will always raise questions about their true merit, it does make me question their judgment in other areas.

Once high-street collections "designed" by celebrities seemed the epitome of naffness. Now we've got collections designed by CEO's kids. It's enough to make you sentimental for Lily Allen for New Look, ain't it?

Post your questions to Ask Hadley, The Guardian, Kings Place, 90 York Way, London N1 9GU. Email ask.hadley@guardian.co.uk

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